Our life group has had two conversations recently that have led me to examine our lives and how God has moved in our lives and brought us to and through change. One week we just simply talked about how the Holy Spirit had moved in our lives. I talked about this briefly in my last post. Then we talked about the seasons of change we have been through. It turns out we have been through MANY in our married life.
2006 and 2009 were both pretty big years for us.
In May of 2006, Danielle had brain surgery. This is something I definitely never thought I would deal with. I mean BRAIN SURGERY. In the past I may have found myself saying things like, “it isn’t brain surgery”. However this WAS brain surgery. What a scary time. Thankfully we are just over an hour away from one of the best hospitals around. Todd and I both turned 30 in 2006. Actually, Todd turned 30 the day Danielle had her 2nd brain surgery.
A short 4 months later two MAJOR life events happened. My princess, Emily Elizabeth, was born! My world will never be the same. I remember getting pregnant and feeling convinced I was having a boy. I actually can’t even imagine that now. I was DEFINITELY meant to have a girl. Little did I know, I would have my complete mini-me! It’s unreal, actually.
That same month, Todd’s dad came back into our lives. He had been away for a long time. Now I can’t even remember those times and am so thankful that he is in our lives.
At the end of 2006, I went back to work (after my maternity leave). It wasn’t easy leaving Emily, but I had it worked out to work part time in the office and part time at home. Thankfully I have a totally awesome sister that was watching her. The day I went back to work, I was laid off. I was DEVASTATED. I loved being home with Emily but our family couldn’t afford for me not to work (or so I thought).
This was a big turning point. This was a day that I actually thought was REALLY bad, but ended up being really great! God knew what he was doing, when I had no clue. A short time later, a friend asked me to babysit for her 4 days a week. I also worked part time from home for another friend who had her own business. It ended up working really well. I look back now and not returning to that job was one of the best things that happened to me. However, that day, it felt hopeless. God knew. God was there. God was working. God was taking care of us and molding our lives in a time in which I was absent from His life. He kept loving me and He kept chasing me. He was blessing me in trials and rough times and I ignored Him. I came to know that God worked in our lives that day. Unfortunately, that didn’t draw me to Him. That didn’t make me turn to Him and thank Him. I went on with my life, paying no attention to Him. He continued to bless me anyway.
Like all parents we experienced new territory. We had our struggles. We had our joys, of course. For the most part, the next 2 1/2 years were uneventful (aside from the revelation of food allergies). I am sure there was lots of change that just doesn’t seem all that important or memorable. 2007 and 2008 were definitely uneventful when compared to 2006 and also 2009.
2009 was full of ups and downs. It started out pretty rough. Really rough, actually. Todd was laid off in February and ended up being laid off for 8 months. This came out of the blue. This was another time that I probably asked WHY a lot. It didn’t make sense and it really turned our lives upside down. I went back to work more and eventually full time. Todd was working EXTREMELY part time for Kohls. Todd was able to get some great quality time with Emily, who was 2 1/2 at the time.
As if this layoff wasn’t enough, Todd and I were also really struggling in our marriage. Both of these hit us like a ton of bricks at the same time. Literally, one of the biggest fights we have ever had, happened the same weekend that Todd got laid off (but the two had nothing to do with each other) and by the way, that was Valentines Day weekend. Everything seemed to be crumbling. Little did I know, it was the complete opposite of crumbling.
I was working, but still part time (for the next 3 months) and much of that was from home. We had just started back to church. Thank God we started back to church. That was definitely one thing that was going right. Todd and I were able to spend a lot more time together during these 3 months because he wasn’t working.
Looking back, I know that Todd being laid off was one of the things that saved us. Had we not had that extra time together, extra quality time to work through issues, I am not sure what would have happened. I can definitely see the blessing in this loss of job even though at the time, it seemed like the worst thing for us.
Again, God knew what He was doing, when I had no clue. During one of the lowest times of our married lives, God showed up and worked through us. We still didn’t have much of a relationship with Him. God found us right where we were, even though we didn’t know how to love Him. He loved us. He loved us and led us to Him and each other at the same time.
In October or 2009, Todd found a new job. He has been at that job ever since. We were in a much better place. We were faithful, regular attenders of FCC. Our relationship with Jesus was growing and growing. Both of us were working full time. Our marriage was back on track.
It’s a good thing because later that month, Danielle (age 14) came to live with us full time, which turned into permanently. Funny thing is that this was something we had wanted and prayed about for years, but ended up being one of the hardest things we encountered. Thankfully Todd and I were solid, or this may have broken us. It was just a lot more difficult than we planned. Danielle came with a lot of baggage. Little did we know that behavior and anger issues were just part of what we would be dealing with.
With in a month or so we were joining a life group. Another thing that was perfect timing. Todd and I had no way of knowing it at the time, but joining this group had little to do with wanting to get connected and a lot to do with how much we would need this group in the coming months and years. Our life group not only grew us in our relationship with God, but supported and guided us through some really tough times. I don’t think they will ever know how much we needed them and how much they held our hand through the next few stages of life.
2009 didn’t exactly end with perfection, but we were on an upswing, even if, at the time, we couldn’t see it. Like so many other times, God was there and He was working.
Thoughts of Bridget 